Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
