Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize