Don't you send me to vm
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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