Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
