very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
