I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
