The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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