According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
