Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize