My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
