Only a mothe r could love this liver
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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