and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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