My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
