How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
