so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
