I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
