it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize