Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
