Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
