If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
