Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
