I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize