Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize