I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
