I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
