okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
