Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
