We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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