Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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