I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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