You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my sisters under your porch take her home
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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