her vagine was all disorganized.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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