I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
