that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
