The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
