i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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