Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
as a side note pls kill me
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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