Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
