Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
