no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
