I love black thongs
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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