How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
