Do you still have your period?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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