we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
