i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
