Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize