"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
