did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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