i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
