not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
