I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
