I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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