I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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