I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
