If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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