i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
