he thought i was a dude.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
