he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize