I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
