none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
