I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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