We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
